- I was in line at the Bavarian Cafe in the mall once and Aunt Annie's Pretzel shop was right around the corner in the ball. A girl in front of me asks the Bavarian cashier: "Do you sell Aunt Annie Pretzels?"

My Advice: Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

-What time does the 7 o'clock ferry leave?"

MY ADVICE: Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

-"The Renaissance was during the 1920's, right?" (Asked of a high school student by another)

MY ADVICE: Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you`d had enough oxygen at birth?

-"How much is that $10 watch?"

MY ADVICE: He is living proof that man lives without a brain!

-"No, just a driver's license." (Woman, when asked if she had a photo ID.)

MY ADVICE: More like she needs a license to be that fatuous.

"Do you want onions on that?" (A waitress, in response to ordering a milk shake and a large cola.)

MY ADVICE: I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there. I guess that onion question just came out of your ass then.

Signs I saw:

"Open seven days a week. Closed Sundays." (On the bottom of a pizza parlor's take-out menu.)

"Parking for drive-through customers only." (A sign at a McDonald's.)

"Do not open this door when locked." (A sign on a gym door.)



MY ADVICE: Alrigh, these signs are not stupid; they were just made by moronic people who are possessed by inane ghosts.